King Heroin The Wicked

Is this where it all finally ends? Is it fucking over yet? Here, alone in a cheap, half lit motel in Tijuana Mexico. I just arrived back from one of the strip-clubs along 'Revolution Street.' While i waited for the dope man at a bar table, i watched these beautiful and broken whores dance out their pain for profit. Strung out, lost girls like me... I saw what the men here didn't : each thrust of the hip, each sharp turn of the body, is a a silent cry for help.


I cry for mercy.

I find myself so very alone. My friends, once so dear.. Where did they all go? I cant recall... Some are locked up, a few 'recovered', too many died along the way... Why do we walk these fates? This strange insanity makes this torturous way of life seem reasonable..

I fear facing myself and this world unless anesthetized by heroin. This fear is damning if not overcome...

I have cried out 'I SURRENDER' countless times, I then desperately put together a plan of action to face myself, to not pick up again! But then Alas! there always comes this blank spot in my memory... Something mysterious happens to lead me from this honest resolution to the fucking needle again! To another cowardly resignation, pledging my allegiance to the power of king heroin.

And so it goes.. This round-about never ends... The prospect of an epic internal eclipse builds up, and then drops, with a heart wrenching anti-climax. I never live up to the glorious plans do i..? I am both the prisoner and the guard.

Desperation i have heard, is what's required to recover. This i have. but the other crucial element is action. I need the strength to 'do', or i will stay trapped forever.
So what will it be? death? life? or an endless existence in this purgatory?

the choice is mine. what am i to do?

"we can only save ourselves.."

'Running Over The Same Old Ground...What have we found?'

Methadone Maintenance

the last house on the block

i'm scared of not picking up

i'm scared of picking up

just to make another resolution

blah blah blah

moan moan moan

waa waa waa

done done done

choose junk or

choose life

pick one

and live it!

This limbo

that you're in

is pittiful

blah blah moan moan!
knock back
that methadone

First i took the Heroin, then the Heroin took me

'WE THE WILLING
LED BY THE UNKNOWN,
ARE DOING THE IMPOSSIBLE
FOR THE UNGRATEFUL
WE HAVE DONE SO MUCH
WITH SO LITTLE
FOR SO LONG
WE ARE NOW QUALIFIED
TO DO ANYTHING
WITH NOTHING.'
-unknown tag usa-


first i took the dope then the dope took me... yes i took the dope but then the dope took me. little did i know that this life ain't free. i snatched the dope and then the dope snatched me...

kickin on the curb makin promises to keep
give it 30 days before i get a wink of sleep.
caught the chiva virus that they call hep c
i don't want the junk, but the junk wants me! :)


'YOU SEARCH FOR CONTENT
IN MY EYES
THE BUTTERFLIES
IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH
ARE TATTOOED ON MY SKIN.

I HAVE HIDDEN
YOU WILL NOT
FIND ME IN MY PUPIL.

IT PULSATES
WATCH IT DILATE
EVALUATE-
SEE MY CONTENT
COME AND GO.

IT EVER LASTS,
THIS CHASE
FROM MY PAST.
WATCH ME PASS
THROUGH THE HANDS
OF 'GODS PEOPLE'
(they march
toward a scandalous steeple)

BUT SEE NOT US,
WE RISE.
MY BUTTERFLY
(IT SPIES)

SKIN TO SKIN
SMACK AND GIN.
COME SWIM, IN
MY OBLIVION.

ADDICTION.
THROUGH WORDS
OF FICTION-
DARE TO FIND ME

DARE TO KNOW ME
DARE TO WHISPER
SOMETHING REAL,
SO WE CAN FEEL,

FOR THE FIRST TIME.

TOGETHER.'

for rossanna,

my empty rossanna
fades gray to soon gone
king heroin make
a weak cry of a song.

lord Chiva drew wisdom
right out from her eyes.
it took my young lover,
pried open her thighs.

Rosanna, you dwindle
on these dark, hungry streets.
they scars up your arm
yes, i know they run deep.

tell me Rosanna
can u recall
the nights under stars
how they made us feel small?

remember the laughter?
the music and wonder?
how could you resign
to this darkness you're under?

the cosmos - its baffling
presence exceeds
the smack
the sorrow
the darkest of streets.

look up
it is
your own world
that you sow
come hear the wind whisper
'where there's life
there lies hope'