I am young. 19 in fact! and right now I am in the process of getting squeaky clean and sober. I spent this past year with a needle in my arm and as one can imagine the lifestyle was quite waring... So here i am 'choosing life'. And so.. as i embark on this new life i think it is appropriate that i should begin replacing old habits with some healthy new ones. A good friend of mine suggested blogging and so it goes.. here i am.

The anonymity of this appeals to me. I can speak in a voice different from mine and can be totally self indulgent. I can freely talk about things that feel important to me. Even if none were to ever read this: The idea that my thoughts will have been sent out into the universe seems nice to me. It strikes me as quite the beautiful attempt to connect with anyone who cares. Kind of like sending a letter off into the ocean, rolled up in a bottle. Even if none ever reads it, it is the attempt, i think, that counts.

It is especially meaningful to me at this point in my life to make some sort of mark (as small as it may be.) This past year i have been (to put it lightly) very unproductive. and Fuck i just can't tell you how shit It feels to end a year with nothing to show for it but a couple ugly marks on my forearm and a few lost friends. Gah.. a year and a half wasted on heroin.. This past year i have been totally introverted, so totally selfish.. So this is me extroverting... It is my small and wholehearted attempt to redeem myself to the universe, redeem myself as someone that is worthy or just simply willing. to try and try again.

Yours Truly,
Lady Lazarus