A Poem for Linda Webster - Richard Brautigan

"Linda, Be kind to flowers
and stars and rivers.
Never tell lies to apples or rainbows.
Trust bread and jam and glasses
of ice-cold milk.
Give a full heart of love
to pigeons and slugs.
Always remember
that people are people
forgive them for it...
and love them for it...
If you do these things, Linda,
you needn't be afraid of death,
for you will never die."

Friday, January 15, 2010

I was so fucking close

I had this appointment with a a bupinorphine program where i would get a suboxon script to help me get clean and stay clean. suboxon gets rid of opiate withdrawls while filling me up with nalaxone a suvstance that makes it so that i couldnt get high if i tryed. my 'induction' was suppose to be today. in order to get 'inducted' i could'nt have any opiates in my system which meant i had to go through 24 hours of withdrawls before coming to the appointment and the getting medication. 22 hours in i caved.
i was so close to getting into the program but after all that suffering i just said fuck it a did a nice big shot. 2 hours before my appointment...
i refuse to give in to that feeling insdie me that tells me that this is impossible. just 2 more hours of suffering and i would have had the suboxon to get rid of the withdrawls and start some sort of new life.

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