I had this appointment with a a bupinorphine program where i would get a suboxon script to help me get clean and stay clean. suboxon gets rid of opiate withdrawls while filling me up with nalaxone a suvstance that makes it so that i couldnt get high if i tryed. my 'induction' was suppose to be today. in order to get 'inducted' i could'nt have any opiates in my system which meant i had to go through 24 hours of withdrawls before coming to the appointment and the getting medication. 22 hours in i caved.
i was so close to getting into the program but after all that suffering i just said fuck it a did a nice big shot. 2 hours before my appointment...
i refuse to give in to that feeling insdie me that tells me that this is impossible. just 2 more hours of suffering and i would have had the suboxon to get rid of the withdrawls and start some sort of new life.
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